Another one... SORRY!

I'm sorry, but I'm bored. And blogging makes me feel like I'm doing something useful.

First thought: I have become one of those metro people who can fiddle with their iPod or read or stare off into space and then magically know when to get off. It's like my body has memorized the distances/times between stops, and I don't have to watch for them anymore. Funny, eh?

Second: I'm anxiously checking my mail every 5 minutes for grad school letters!!! Being in Brussels without internet may kill me these next few days...

Third: KFC in Europe sucks. They focus more on sandwiches, so it's just like going to McDonalds. The one I got tonight was chicken, a hashbrown patty, cheese, lettuce, ketchup and mayo--so weird! They have buckets, but there are more options with strips and crispy wings than with bone-in pieces. And the sides are only French fries or corn on the cob (they had coleslaw in Prague), and there are NO BISCUITS!!! The travesty! Only Subway still tastes the same as home here.

Ok, fo shizzle I'm off to Brussels tomorrow. SLEEP! Trying to ignore the Mardi Gras partiers...

:*

Reading and writing

Every time I finish a good book, I want to write one just like it, be it via the themes, structure, or ideas it uses.

I just finished Reading Lolita in Tehran, and there is nothing like a memoir about life in Iran to remind you how good your life really is. Being in France has been good for allowing me the time to read the news and lots of books, when I’m not being too lazy to do it.

 But now I’m pondering the “ordeal of freedom” idea from this book and all of the choices that freedom gives us. Is not my life right now just a giant ordeal of freedom? I’m in France with a minimally demanding job, sufficient money, loads of time, and a big city around me. Why am I not ecstatic to be here?

Funny thing is, I miss schedule and purpose and assignments—these obligations and deadlines kept me constantly moving forward. Here, I see that I don’t have much discipline on my own :/ I have a stack of books and a yoga mat, but I fall victim to online tv and facebook far too often. A few empty days are relaxing, but a few empty months are terrifying! I can do anything I want apart from my twelve hours of work per week, and yet I feel paralyzed by language and loneliness. I can’t go to a movie alone in the US, so how can I travel to another town here all by myself?

Pierre-Antoine tells me I need to have more fun—true!—but I’m still working on how to accomplish that. I’m used to having people around at college to entertain me in any spare moment; I don’t know how to do it myself anymore!

For now, I’ll get back to people-watching from my window, and maybe I’ll start a new book. And if anyone reading this can explain how to cast on, then I can start knitting for real!!! ;)

Weekend of friends!!!

Well, I just had one of the most fun girls weekends in France! Friday night, Katherine, Caitlin, Kelsey, and I went out to dinner. We tried Adonis, a Lebanese place that PA recommended to me. You order a menu, so we got the mid-price one with seven cold dishes and seven warm dishes for 14 euros a person--so good! There was hummus, stuffed grape leaves, chicken wings, beef and chicken skewers, falafel, shrimp, and so much else to try. We also had a nice aperatif kir and chatted for a long time.

Afterwards, Katherine, Caitlin and I hung out at my place until K's bus at 11. It was like a slumber party with gossip and music and silliness. Very fun! Then, Caitlin and I watched Les femmes de l'ombre (Women of the Shadow) about women spies during World War II. It was kind of intense so we had to watch some funny stuff before going to bed.

We three had planned to meet up for the Satuday market at 11, but poor sleepy Caitlin was a little slow getting out of bed. Instead, in my apartment we had coffee, chatted and people watched from my window. We eventually decided to grab sandwiches and go to a movie, Sofia Coppola's Somewhere that was playing in English with French subtitles. A bit too slow and artsy for me, but it was nice to get out and just see a movie to do something different!

More exciting was the shop we stopped in on the walk back... We bought gorgeous little cakes! We had a bit more time of pretending my apartment was a cafe, perhaps Café Laurène on Place Sainte Anne ;)

Little cakes... YUM!

Hanging out at Cafe Laurène! ;)

But after the friends and fun are gone for the night... things get really quiet in my apartment. I get back to reflection on how my time is being spent here.


Sometimes it feels like my life has gone stagnant here--in a foreign country where daily life is not at all the same as being at home or at school, it is hard to see the big picture. How exactly does a year teaching English to kids in France help me in any of my long-term plans? I just try to remember that not everything in life has to be relevant to ultimate goals and that you have to put in time to get general life and language skills (though it may be slow and frustrating).

Though the professors at the school often say the kids like my lessons, I just don't feel very fulfilled by or interested in the work I do here. Many of the assistants I know have discovered a love for teaching in this program, while I have learned that I do not want to work with anyone under the age of 18 ever again. I guess that is something worth finding out before I tried to get a Masters of teaching or something...


I think I'm just not used to so much alone time now--home, school, dorms, roommates, lots of people have always just been around. Here, if I don't really make an effort, I can spend a whole day not talking to anyone else. I may be going insane in my isolation chamber! Or at least over-analyzing too much...

I can't wait to see my family and my home again!